Thursday, January 24, 2013

Return after political season hiatus.

Things have been blank here, and fortunately so. One downside to being one of maybe 5 Christian nihilists on planet Earth is the overwhelming oppressiveness of political horse crap pressing down upon us. It's exacerbated by necessary fact of our having very little support structure. You can understand the logistical nightmare of trying to convene conference between 5 individuals worldwide. We simply can't promise we'll be there. It's an elite group, so it has that going for it, but I just wanted you to be aware that there are downsides. It's my job as public liaison to both set your apprehensions at ease, as well as to simultaneously discourage any attempts at joining our loosely official syndicate.

That is, of course, the danger in going public with one's ideals: screaming, salivating fans. Too much obsession. If I'm not careful to keep this cabal in shadows, soon we'll have a Justin Bieber type of situation. I just can't handle thousands of screaming teenage girls wilting in violent adoration and threatening to tear a chunk of flesh off my body. Too much. I much prefer a quiet, secret gathering, cigarettes and a mystical vibe. We can switch up between hooded occult and Bukowski aeshetics. But it's got to be one of the two, you know. Things in this world have their Proper Order. Order of Operations. Orbium Coelestium.

But now that the political season has waned a bit--cooled, I say, but not dissipated entirely--I can return here to cast into your mind the thoughts which are nearly direct reflections from the heavens above, celestial orders. We all have our orders. Okay, maybe that sounds heavy-handed. It was a fancy way of saying the (somewhat) quiet ruminations of a Christian nihilist. I'm the pen and pad, as it were--the letter from us to you. It was beginning to over-exhaust me, this past election season. I'd about had my fill. Of course, on ye olde sociale medya sites, the irritation presses on, only abated somewhat. And I just want to make something definitively clear right now, so that in the future if the issue arises, I can point back to this highly reputable publication to verify my stance as legitimately and defiantly established early on.

If you morons decide to have another civil or revolutionary war, leave me right out of it. I'll tell you this; I want a semi-automatic rifle, but mostly because they're awesome to shoot and because I should be allowed to. I'm not interested in everyone's stupid squabbles, so if you decide to openly battle it out because your grasp of civil discourse has eroded to such an alarming degree--well, leave me out of it. Whatever is resolved from it will doubtless be unworthy to partake in.

Here's a clue that applies to basically everyone I hear whining today:
The problem is in yourself. Shut up, fix it, and then try to help other people, but not because you're pissed off.

Oh. And leave me the hell alone.

No comments:

Post a Comment